Light Fixture
by RenkonNairu
Summary: How many kryptonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? -ONESHOT-


Disclaimer: Characters and setting are not mine. All is the property of DC Comics. I'm just borrowing them for some non-profit entertainment.

**How many kryptonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?**

Christopher Kent hovered in the small kitchenette of his legal guardian's apartment in Metropolis. He gently screwed a fresh light bulb into the fixture above him, careful not to exert too much force and shatter the bulb or twist to hard and warp the socket. He lowered himself back down to the floor and flipped the switch.

Nothing happened.

Chris scowled up at the light in perplexed annoyance. What had he done wrong?

Before he could begin exploring the answer to that question there was a tap on the sliding glass doors of the terrace and he looked to find Kara waiting on the balcony. He rushed to let her in.

"Hey there, kiddo." She ruffled his hair. "I was looking for Clark. Is he around?"

"He's on Watchtower." The boy informed her. "But his shift is supposed to end today, you can stay and wait if you like." Then, as an after thought, "Hey, do you know anything about changing lightbulbs?"

The Supergirl followed the boy into the kitchen and examined the fixture, then turned her scrutiny to the package of bulbs he was using. "Well, for starters, you're putting a fifty-watt bulb in a thirty-watt socket."

"Oh." Chris hadn't thought of that.

"Where do they keep their spare bulbs?"

Chris showed her the high cabinet in the hall where Lois and Clark kept their household supplies like detergent and fabric softener, air freshener, furniture polish, light bulbs, etc. She forewent the formality of actually opening the cupboard and just scanned it with her x-ray vision and found its inventory to be lacking any thirty-watt bulbs.

"Well, Chris, looks like you and I are going shopping." She put her hands on her hips and huffed.

It was as Chris and Kara were returning from their short jaunt to the convenience store at the end of the block that Power Girl glided in through the balcony door they'd forgotten to shut before leaving. She was grumbling under her breath about Toyman and kept switching between English and Kryptonese.

"Hello, Kara." Said Supergirl.

Power Girl stopped short. "Oh, hello, Kara." She said in reply.

The two Kara's looked at one another for a moment. Then Supergirl said, "Hiro?"

That set Power Girl off. "Oh, my, gosh! You will not believe the nerve of that kid!" She threw her arms up exasperation. "I have one dinner with him, _one_! As a 'thank you' for saving all of us from Lang's kryptonite dirty-bombs and now he won't leave me alone. He thinks he's got a foot in the door or something. I don't even know what he's thinking. He's so _young_ compared to me!" It was then that she noticed the shopping bag Chris held. "Sorry. So, what are you guys up to?"

"Changing a light bulb." The boy answered.

"Oh, happy times. Anything's better than what I was just doing. Lemme help."

Chris pulled out the box of thirty-watt bulbs, opened it and handed one to Kara-L. Power Girl hovered up to the light fixture, unscrewed the fifty-watt bulb Chris had left in and replaced it with the new one. Kara Zor-El, Supergirl, flipped the switch.

Nothing happened.

"Hm. Are you sure it's the right wattage?" Power Girl asked, still hovering.

"Yes." Supergirl assured her. Chris and I just came back from buying new bulbs.

"Hm." Kara-L paused to think for a moment.

It was then that Superboy entered, also through the balcony doors that had still been left open.

"Hey, Clark, mind if I crash here tonight?" He hovered in and threw a sleeping bag on the couch. "Gar made some stupid joke that the girls took offense to and I made the mistake of laughing at it and so suddenly I'm a bad guy and Cassy threatened to slaughter me in my sleep, not that I think she would, but I figure its better to give the girls their space so-" He came up short. "You guys aren't Clark."

"Well spotted, Conner." Said Supergirl.

"Your powers of observation impress us all." Said Power Girl.

"What did Beast Boy say?" Asked Chris.

Conner looked from the boy to the two women standing and hovering (respectively) by him. "I'd rather not repeat…" He answered diplomatically.

"Well, as long as you're here," Power Girl crossed her arms under her rather generous breasts. "You can help us change this light bulb."

Conner raised an eyebrow. "It takes four of us to do that?"

"Apparently." Supergirl shrugged.

Chris just looked sheepish and smiled apologetically.

With a sigh, Conner levitated up to the fixture. He closed his hand around the bulb and probed it with his tactile telekinesis. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with the bulb or the fixture is had been set in. Maybe the girls and Chris just hadn't been twisting it tight enough. He gave the bulb one firm turn… and it shattered in his hand.

"Smooth." Supergirl likewise crossed her arms over her chest.

"The kid here has better control that you." Power Girl teased.

Conner growled. "I miscalculated how weak the glass was. Give me another and I'll try again."

"Suit yourself." Power Girl shrugged.

Chris handed him a fresh bulb. "There are only two more left after this."

Conner grumbled something non-sensecal but annoyed sounding under his breath and took the bulb. The moment his fingers touched it he used his TTK to levitate the bulb into the socket. This time using his telekinetic power to maneuver the bulb into place rather than his physical hands.

"There." He said. "Now try."

Chris flipped the switch.

Nothing happened.

"This is what its been doing all day." The boy said.

"Are you even flipping the right switch?" Power Girl asked.

"Yes, I'm flipping the right switch." Chris answered testily.

"Damn this light bulb." Supergirl snarled. "What foul creature from the depths of Rao's flaming pits hath created thee!"

All eyes turned to stare at her.

"Sorry, was that to melodramatic?"

"A bit." Conner confirmed. He came down from his hover and joined the other three in a huddle to discuss their next plan of action in response to what was suddenly called the 'Light Bulb Issue'.

It was then, as the four of them were in their huddle that Clark finally came home from Watch duty.

He drifted in through the still open balcony door. He made a mental note to talk to Chris about that. Had told the boy before about leaving the door open, birds got in when he did and they pooped all over the living room, perched on the high bookshelves and drove Lois crazy. He came up short, however, when he saw the huddle of super-cousins, clone and foster son in his kitchenette.

That kitchen really was too small for four people.

Lets add a fifth!

Clark leaned into the huddle and whispered. "Okay, so what are we planning?"

Everyone jumped. "Clark!"

The moment they recovered from the startle he'd given them, the original Superman was assailed by family needs.

"Can I spend the night?"

"Will you _please_ get little-Toyman off my back!"

"I just wanted a little advice."

"I tired changing a light, but it won't work."

Clark raised a hand for silence. "One at a time, please. I'm not super-man."

They blinked in confusion.

"Joke."

"Oh…" They nodded and then forced awkward laughs.

"Okay, Conner, if you need some space from the Titans, sure you can spend the night. But if you're hiding from your girlfriend, man-up and make-up with her, running doesn't solve anything. Kara,-"

"Which one?" They both asked in unison.

"Power Girl," He amended, "Hiro's just a little kid with a crush. Be strait with him and tell him flat out that you're not interested and to leave you alone. Supergirl, depending on what you need advice on, it might be better to wait until after I've dealt with Chris' light." He focused his attention on his adopted son. "What seems to be the trouble?"

"It doesn't work." Chris explained sullenly.

Clark looked up at the fixture. "This thing's been giving Lois trouble lately, too." His eyes narrowed at the bulb and socket, examining it with his X-ray vision. Traveling down the fixture, he followed the path of its wires with his eyes until he found the source of all their problems. "There's a short in the wireing."

"Oh…" The other four nodded. None of them had thought of that.

Clark hovered up to the ceiling where the short was and tried to cut a hole in the ceiling with his fingers. Then he paused and looked back down at them. "Would one of you ladies with nails mind doing the honors?"

Supergirl sighed. "Sure, sure."

She floated up and cut a rectangular hole in the ceiling, revealing a series of piping and wires, one of which had its insulation broken and strands of frayed copper were poking out from it. Kara hovered out of the way while Clark pulled back the insulation and tried to twist the frayed bits back into the main part of the wire. He used his heat vision to soften the metal a little and made it more malleable, but was careful not to melt it, or over-heat anything around it. When he was done, he pulled the plastic insulation back over it and likewise melted that a bit.

"That should do it."

"Great!" Chris smiled. "How are we gonna reattach that?" He pointed to the rectangle of ceiling Supergirl was still holding.

"Duct tape?" Conner suggested.

"Super-glue?" Power Girl offered.

"I'll run to the hardware store tomorrow and get some spackle." Clark shrugged, unconcerned. He took the rectagle from Kara Zor-El and placed it on the kitchen counter. Then, thinking Lois might not approve, moved it to the floor where he leaned it against a cupboard. "Now, lets test that light!"

Chris flipped the switch.

The exposed wire sparked. The fixture crackled. The bulb exploded.

The five kryptonians blinked as the air was filled with the acrid scent of ozone and singed copper and plastic.

"I don't understand what we did wrong." Clark shook his head.

…

**How many kryptonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?**

_**More than five, apparently.**_

…

END


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